sad

I'm sad again today. I don't feel good again. Today wasn't so good. I have this underlying sadness and discontentment in me it seems, always. It never goes away. I've been in my room since 6 and it's almost 11 now. I never talk to my boyfriend anymore. I don't know if I want him anymore. He has this friend named Elise. I don't like her, but he's infatuated with her. I don't want to be with someone who is infatuated with someone else. They talk over twitter. I don't like it. I don't know if it's worth it anymore to be with him. We have so many problems and I'm hardly ever happy. But even without him I would probably still be unhappy. Because I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know what I'm doing and every day is a struggle usually. I have no one to talk to. I feel very, very alone

How long must I wait

Until this shithole of a life gets better. Until I know what the hell I'm doing. How much longer, because sometimes it's just about unbearable to wait. Fuck. I am a disaster. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.